What do you think Sempai?
by CheshireKitKat
Summary: What happens when you combine The Host Club and Beer? Hilarity ensues! Kyoya is drunk and lets everyone know just what he really thinks about all of them. Not meant to be taken seriously, this is pretty much crack fiction. Warning: Boy x Boy, Underage Drinking, Cussing, and an OOC Drunk!Kyoya.


_This fan fiction was inspired by be watching countless hours of J. Micheal Tatum interviews and panels on YouTube. I swear, I am becoming obsessed with his videos! Especially the ones that involve his voice characters! Like how can I not! He freaking voices France (Hetalia), Sebastian (Black Butler), and Kyoya (Ouran High Host Club)! Like seriously this dude voices awesome characters!_

 _Anyways. The following fanfiction is meant to be used for comical purposes and it not to be taken seriously. This is Crack Fanfiction at it's finest ladies and whatever few gentleman that are on this site._

 _Warning: This fan fiction contains boy x boy, cussing, underage drinking, OOC Drunk!Kyoya, as well as lots of comedy._

Stress makes you do crazy things. Everyone falls pray to stress sometimes, even members of the illustrious Ouran High Host Club who's current members were partying to help kick off the end of the school year. Apparently they had raided some of the Sake and other various alcoholic beverages from their parent's wine cellars and liquor cabinets and decided that they were going to get wasted. The past year had been stressful for all of them and even goodie two shoes Haruhi was in on the drinking.

Currently right now the the Hitachin Twins were coming up with some elaborate plans for the summer and wanted the rest of the host club to join along. Kyoya, on the other hand was on his fourth Gin and Tonic (I seriously will freaking love you if you get this reference!) and his entire host facade was simply fading away as the rest of the group talked about frivolous and trivial matters that quite frankly Kyoya could give less than a shit about. He has much more better important things to do over his summer, like trying to take over his father's company.

He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation at hand when Haruhi suddenly asked him as to what he thought of their crazy stupid idea.

"So what do you think Sempai?"

Kyoya scowled and stood up. "Do you wanna know what I think?!"

"Uh... Sempai?" started Karou... "your drunk". Finished Hikaru.

"Oh shut it! Do you wanna know what I think?"

Everyone shrugged. They didn't really seem to care, but at the same time seemed interested as well.

Kyoya pointed to the Hitachin twins. "I'm pretty certain you two are fucking!"

Everyone looked at Kyoya.

Honey hiccuped and looked up at him. "Stating the obvious aren't you?"

"Oh like your one to talk! Your practically a toddler!" he said pointing at him. He quickly turned to Mori and pointed at him. "Which makes you an incest loving pedobear you know that!"

Mori had unfortunately been taking a sip of his sake at the time and spat it out upon hearing such an accusation.

However, the Shadow King's rant was far from earlier. He turned his attention upon Renge as she entered the room.

"Your just plain bat shit crazy! Seriously! You should be locked up in a mental hospital beside Nekozawa! The freaking creeper!"

Haruhi busted up laughing at that. Sure, he was being a bit rude and blunt but what he was saying was kinda true. Unfortunately for poor Haruhi, Kyoya heard and turned to her.

"Like your one to talk! Seriously like are you a lesbian or something!? You cross-dress like a boy! You flirt with girls and refuse to accept any of Tamaki's affections what so ever!"

Tamaki gasped at that. "Mommy! That is no way to talk to your daughter!"

"And you! Your the worst!" he exclaimed.

Tamaki looked confused. "How am I the worst?" he slurred having been drinking red wine. He was drunk even though he only had half a glass of it. He really did not have a tolerance for alcohol.

"you.." Kyoya slurrd. "It your fault!... It your f-fault I'm so attracted to you... You.. And y-your d-damn sexy looks."

Everyone gasped in shocked.

Tamaki turned bright red. "y-you.. You what?"

"you heard me!" Kyoya's face was redder than a tomato. "I'm in love with you!" He quickly grabbed Tamaki by the wrong of his shirt and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

Tamaki's eyes widen in surprise, he had not expected that.

Kyoya pulled away from a smirk. "Later! I'm out bitches!" he stumbled out of the room laughing.

 _Wow. The stuff I come up when bored. I hope you guys liked it! Do comment about what you think and don't forget to favorite and/or follow!_


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